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I was having dinner with a self-described half-arsed Anglican white friend a few months back. Lesbians occurred to her for some reason, I don't remember why. What I don't forget is that she burst into laughter over the totally impossible imagining that I myself might be a lesbian. 'A Jewish lesbian!' The funniest thing ever.

I never had a conflict between my faith and my sexuality. There is no choose-between-these, no splitting of my soul. I am twice blessed. I love rainbows because I'm super queer and because I super love Hashem who will never bring such a flood upon humanity again. I'm lucky enough to live in Australia, where I can get married under a chuppah, where I could be out and proud in Jewish community groups if I wanted to. (I'm not, because I don't think the contents of my heart are public property.) I might be the only Ortho girl doing it*, but I would be safe and happy and have loads of support. I am fierce and engaged, and I love talking about Rashi's opinions on ladysex because they are hilarious.

My problem, when it comes to loving Hashem and women both, comes from gentiles. It's from queers who can't understand that queers of faith can be happy. It's from people in general who think that only one thing can be "different" about you, that it's inconceivable to be all the things I am. It's how some people think who I am sounds like a punchline. This is why I tend to be out about one thing or the other (not that my Jewishness is inevitably something I can elect to hide), because supposedly both is too weird, and because I am sick of my existing being a thing that blows people's minds.

I don't want anything taken away from me, I want it all, and I want to be seen as a person, no matter where I go or who I'm with.

*Hanging out with the Jewish queers can get a bit awkward. I feel like the Ortho unicorn sometimes. I know there are others, but I haven't been in the same room as the only out Ortho queer girl around here I know of since we were about six.
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I'm a good Jewish girl and I keep my promises.

Two from my giftee, lferion: A Sea of Assyrian Tents, in which Doctor Who's Donna meets the historical Judith, and Child of the Forest, a beautiful look at Jabe's (DW) childhood.

ryfkah writes Chava and Hodel, Fiddler on the Roof futurefic.

Mary Morstan: Timelord is a Who and Sherlock Holmes crossover series by sansets and LOL.

Daegaer writes From the Sun to the Shade, a series of post-Biblical Jewish RPF, which involved a lot of research and is really an excellent story.

Kass writes a series of different versions of Esther; here's the first.

seekingferret writes Of All the Gin Joints.... Bereshit in space. Amazing.

All Summer in an Afternoon by opalmatrix is Greek myth femslash with Persephone.

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Oh, France. I am praying for the victims' souls. Can you imagine what the wife/mother of three of the victims is going through? B'ezrat Hashem they will catch the murderer and that community can heal and France can get it together.

The Jewish population of Venezuela has more than halved over the last few years because they keep having to move. There are neo-Nazis parading in Latvian streets. If you die in New Zealand while Jewish, your grave may well be vandalised. Jewish students have been beaten up on my university campus. I wear Western clothes and I've not worn a magen David outside of Jewish contexts in years because it is scary to be Jewish in this world when people want you dead.
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What an excellent Purimgifts. I'll have a recs post for you soon, but for now, here's what I got and what I wrote. It all ended up being Who fic!

fetchmeagiraffe wrote a series called the sound of miles passed beneath your feet for me. It's on Donna, Martha, and their lives after the Doctor, and it is really great, with lots of magnificent bits like 'It took five weeks for Mickey to suggest bringing in a third person to do research and coordinate jobs. (This followed the incident where Martha showed up at an abandoned car park looking for an autopsy while Mickey was at hospital searching for an anonymous informant.)' There are comics and a music playlist treat and it must have taken so much effort. Thank you so much, fetchmeagiraffe.

For lferion, I wrote:

Five Times Nancy Gathered a Spark. Summary: 'The ethical choice doesn’t always feel like the right one. In which Nancy of "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances" saves the world in ways the Doctor never can.'

I was trying to get a Jewish presence in my stories, and I thought, well, World War II, the healing nanogenes in TEC/TDD might be said to resemble the Lurianic sparks... let's make Nancy an Ashkenazi woman who is hiding her Jewishness as well as her motherhood. It was interesting to write because, for one, I don't speak Yiddish as Nancy does, but do use little bits of it in my daily life as she does in the story, and I wanted to go on the good side of the line between "Ashkenazi woman struggling with language by way of struggling with racism and integration" and "Yiddish as irritatingly represented in US popular culture". I didn't provide a glossary because I wanted to make people feel as alienated by the language and culture divide as Nancy does herself. It's probably worth looking things up, but I make a lot of the meanings evident from context.

Originally, I was going to have Nancy's mother as a much stronger presence in the story, and something about her parents being taken to a British internment camp, and Nancy escaping into Whitechapel. I was going to tie that with the terrifying sameness and death represented by the gas mask people. But it didn't work timeline-wise, and I can't write World War II stories. And I like this idea of five mitzvot, which don't feel like goodness, which gather sparks and save the world.

A Little Time and Space to Oneself. Summary: 'Sometimes, Donna needs a little time for celebration and survival. In which Ten is very silly, and there is pastry.' It's silly, it's fun, there's spandex and a planet full of Jews. Not much more to say on it.

Gorgeous White Boys. Summary: '‘Gorgeous white boys aren’t going to swoop down from the sky and save you.’ A medical students’ night at the pub goes a bit wrong. A prelude to Martha’s meeting the Doctor.' From the notes: 'The racial politics of Doctor Who can always do with exploring, and that’s something of which the relationship between Martha and Ten is in particular need.' It hinges on Martha's speech to the Doctor as she leaves her travels with him, and making her friend Vicky Mizrahi and Sean white. Here are my original notes:

I think something about Martha and being out of water, and gorgeous white boys, and maybe about her engagement breaking off, but then that feeds into Mickey in a bad way so maybe a younger Martha, or what happened leading up until she met the doctor

Anyway, I think it looks at the Martha/Ten/Rose thing pretty well without actually including Ten or Rose.
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Ahhhhh they like my first story they really like it! I am so happyyyyyyyyyyy.

Today I've been hanging out in my Purim costume - I'm a corsetted rainbow! - eating hamentaschen.

Yay Purim!

Mar. 5th, 2012 09:45 am
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Presently I am reading a book in which a Jewish villain of devilish appearance tries to take the jewels of our beautiful white heroine. Aren't stereotypes fun?!

Anyway, Purim's coming up! I'm looking forward to mishloach manot - in the form of Purimgifts! - and reading Megillat Esther, which is my very favourite book in the Tanach. I don't actually own a noisemaker anymore, so we're going to be pulling out the pots and pans for reading Haman's name. Also, hamentaschen, because yuuuuuuuum.

I am going to dress up as a rainbow. I shall enjoy confusing people as to the reason for this. Is she gay? Is she seriously into the Noah's ark story?
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And, um, wow. A lovely film - one of those lovely films where I sit there and try to enjoy it while it feels like all the air is being sucked out of my chest. The evil sorceress with dark curly hair and a long nose who captures the very blonde baby in order to steal her life force, and then becomes her overbearing mother? Are you quite serious, Disney?

Excuse me, I have to go bake Christian babies' blood into my matzah now.
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Hello, delightful creature. I'm sorry that there's practically nothing in my journal for you to go on, but rest assured that I'm easily pleased. Here are some things you should know.

Things I like

I like all sorts of things that aren't intense downers, so happy/bittersweet/whatever is good. I love my gen/friendship fic quite as much as my romance, and I tend towards femslash pairings, although het and boyslash are great, too. I'm into crossovers when they're reasonably realistic.

Things I don't like

Noncon, dubcon, power imbalances (ie one partner in a position of social power over another).

Fandom-specific

I've only seen through season 2 of Being Erica and season 8 of Degrassi, so please nothing that covers material from later seasons. In the Bible, I ship David/Jonathan and have soft spots for Rachel, Michal, and Esther.

Me-specific

I'm Jewish, so I'd love love love any religiously/culturally specific details with which you'd care to sprinkle your stories. Do not panic if you're worried about getting it wrong, though. Jewish characters talking about being Jewish makes me happy.

Mostly: thank you so much for writing this for me, I'm so happy and excited to have you as my author. If you're worried about appealing to my tastes, you can probably contact [personal profile] lefaym and she'll tell you what's what.

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May 2012

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